Yeah, Yeah, We Know!

I just watched the U.S. Open men's final, which Roger Federer won by beating Andy Roddick. It was a good match, but I was rooting for Roddick. Federer is a great player. But I am sort of tired of hearing about it. Yeah, yeah, we know he's great. Now stop creaming in your pants about him. Throughout every broadcast I have to listen to that again and again. I'd watch the matches on mute, except I want to at least her the balls striking the racquets and the court.

Also, this weekend Federer had Anna Wintour in his box, and today it was Tiger Woods (another tiresome winner). I didn't know a star could be a Star Fucker, but I guess you can. Anna Wintour? What the fuck? I guess the Williams sisters are star fuckers, too. Hell, maybe they all are. I just find it amusing—and annoying.

And oh yeah, we KNOW Maria Sharapova is pretty, oh so pretty. We get it. Now shut up about it. To her credit, she actually cares about tennis and has a game to back it up. But every commercial reminds us of how bad-ass beautiful she is. Are there that many dogs on the women's tour where she gets elevated to Goddess status?

And of course they would NEVER objectify a male player. I want to see a commercial where Dmitry Tursonov (see above)—a Russian hottie, maybe the male version of Sharpova—shows his abs and bends over a lot and is basically ogled by the camera. He's quite dreamy, I think. Sigh. (Roddick ain't bad either. My other tennis crush is Richard Gasquet. Hell, even Federer is pretty damn cute. Okay, I'm being shallow and vapid, but if males can be that way about women, then I can be that way about men!)